I Just Wish...

It may be a bit too depressing for some, and for others it may be alright. The picture I drew was sketched off the internet, NOT traced. It is at the bottom of the page. Hope you enjoy, and please give me some feedback in return, I'd really really appreciate it! :)

-
My tears say it all.

I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm hopeless. 

The scars on my arm are painful, which give me no more reason to live much longer. 

My father had a tough day at work. 

I just sat there, my 14 year-old self, on our beige couch. 

As he approaches me with his powerful palm holding tightly his thick black Armani belt. 

My back, numb. 

My thighs, numb. 

My arms, numb. 

Sooner or later, our couch turned into a light shade of red, since that chair was the oldest we owned, it played the role of a grave. A grave where the human body lays, where the non functioning muscles stay, where the endless blood pours from your opened scars, I say. 

My back is the ugliest. 

My arms are the least. 

My natural dark-to-light  brown hair was my best and most attractive feature. 

My father loved it.

I inherited it from my divine mother, may God rest her soul. 

Sometimes I hate being beautiful.

Sometimes I just wish I was hideous. 

For beauty is the aspect that triggers the abuse, some began from the admiration of my hair, and some began from work stress. 

My father beats me. 

Every morning.

Every night.

I want to tell somebody older than me. 

I wish I could. 

But my father forbids me to leave the basement. 

To have any physical or verbal contact with anyone behind my door. 

I don't have a cellphone. 

The landline doesn't exist in my room. 

All I've got are pencils and papers. 

Writing is all I've got. 

No education. 

No social life. 

No happiness. 

No joy. 

No sleep. 

I just wish he would kill me and take my life away instead of letting me live in torture. 

I just wish he would end it all with a pull of a trigger. 

Or a hard poke of a knife, going straight through my innocent heart. 

I just wish my mother were still here with me. 

I just wish it would all be over. 

I just wish I could watch TV or ride a bike. 

I just wish I could swim in the ocean with the beautiful fish. 

I just wish I was an ordinary teenager. 

I just wish my wishes won't be too hard to grant.

I just wish...

70 Days; Chapter 16; Epilogue

Day #70;

The cold breeze moving my light, brown hair, allowing it to hit against my rose cheeks and its ends to poke my eyes.

The fresh, chilly air surrounds me.

The brown ground laying crying out of boredom because there seems to be no grass over it, accompanying their muddy surface.

The leafless trees are dancing to the wind and the light drizzles.

That's the smell of sweet serendipity.

Finally, winter break, finally back home to where I belong.

-

Following Rashed's game rules, I did not even attempt to call or text him after our conversation.

I wanted him to know that I love him.

I'm going to prove it.

He told me he's coming home in a few days.

Ah, I just can't wait!

Tomorrow morning I'm supposed to break the silence of the second game, since the first one will be officially over.

As soon as I was finished with my daily showers, I felt vibration coming from my wooden desk.

It was the most unexpected person.

Deena.

I answered it and held it against my right ear.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hi," I answered.

"Hey, when did you come back?" she asked.

"Early this morning," I replied.

I didn't ask her likewise since she was studying in the same local area.

"You must be tired, then, call me whenever you feel like getting out of the house," she offered.

"Will, do, bye,"

And the phone call ended.

I, honestly, do miss Deena. Though she treated me like garbage, I missed her. I'm actually looking forward to seeing her again, to catch up on each other's news and stuff.

-

It was 2 PM and I was just about to sit down on my pink velvet couch and watch The Call. I made popcorn and everything, until my phone vibrated once again, blinking and an unsaved number was plastered on the screen. It couldn't be Deena, again.

I held it and pressed on the 'answer' button.

"Hello?" I spoke.

I heard breathing.

"Hello?" I repeated.

"Hello, darling, Jade, it's Rashed's mother!" she said dawdling.

Well that was a relief.

"Hi, Aunty, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm great, sorry for disturbing you, but I just wanted to know if you could come over any time now?" she invited, with a slow tone.

I was too afraid to ask about Rashed, since if she had told him, when he returns, that I asked about him, it would totally destroy the whole mood of the second game.

"Sure," I responded.

I placed the bowl of popcorn on my kitchen counter, and texted my mother that I will be visiting her, since she was out for lunch and my father, as usual, was out of the country.

I entered my room, picked out my outfit for the day. My navy jeggings, along with a white, semi-formal, winter sweater, along with my black Uggs, and my hair was left down straight, brushed, of course, and a thin black braided headband was placed over my hair.

On the way I picked up a bouquet of red roses for her and drove to her home. Rashed explained to me where it was, before. I was surprised I worked as a great GPS system.

So happily, I rang the button and the gate widely opened.

I parked my car and walked over to the front door.

It was already opened, but I knocked as I was half way through. I heard recitation of the Holy Quran as the background sound.

Approaching me was his mother.

I didn't want to stare at her face in order to find any changes, so I only greeted and followed her into the sitting room.

The house was very modern yet classic. It offered few touches of both. It had a wonderful smell, it kind of smelled like Rashed, which made me miss him more.

I held out the flowers for her with a big grin.

"These are for you," I said.

I don't think she heard me.

She didn't look as happy, I wondered why.

As I got up from my seat to walk over to her, to hand her the bouquet, I said, "These are-"

Interrupted, Fawaz ran in, panicking, and screamed in shock, "Where is he?!"

Confusion overwhelmed my clueless brain.

Fawaz payed no attention to me whatsoever.

His mother stood up, oh so slowly, and pointed, in pain, to the far room at the end of the hallway, I couldn't see it, though.

I watched Fawaz run and disappear.

His mother stayed in her last position and was unable to move.

"Aunty, is there something wrong?" I asked disoriented.

She mumbled a few words that I couldn't recall ever knowing the definitions of.

"Aunty?" I asked even more confused and worried.

"R-r-r-a-s-h-h-" she murmured.

My heart dropped, I didn't know what to do.

"But, Rashed isn't here..." I assured her.

She stood for a moment.

But a few seconds after that, a tear fell from her eye and hit the floor.

I walked gently and sluggishly to the room where Fawaz hurried to, I figured it out even though I was incapable of seeing the room from where I was sitting.

I had no other place to the put flowers so I brought them along with me.

As I extended my right foot into the room and looked up, I felt my heart stop beating.

Fawaz was leaning against a chest of a body.

I walked over to him, still so confused, and slowly pulled the cover covering the person from the head.

I didn't even have the ability to cry.

To shed a single tear.

Fawaz was leaning on the chest of the one I love.

The chest that belongs to Rashed.

I have no words to describe how I feel, this very moment.

Rashed.

Back home.

Bed.

Pain.

Sadness.

Death.

After staring at him, I knew Fawaz couldn't handle it anymore, hence, is the reason why he left the room, sobbing unstoppably.

I sat on the floor wondering why, why was it Rashed's time to leave us? It's so soon...

I held myself from any future reaction and just felt an aching sensation rush through the veins of my feet all the way to the veins of my head.

Moments later, I was able to talk. I was able to feel, I was no longer numb anymore.

I was alone in the room.

I looked around me, looked at the baby photos of Rashed, and then glanced back to him.

A tear rolled down my cheeks.

"No!" "No!" "No!" I screamed in agony, in pain, in an indescribable ache.

I placed the side of my head on his chest, hoping to hear a heart beat.

It was unbelievable.

"He left something for you," a voice was audible from behind me.

I turned around and it was his pale-looking mother.

"W-w-h-a-t-?" I answered in hesitation.

She took out an envelope and approached me slowly, so fearful of taking a look at the body behind me.

I removed it out of her weak hands, held it into mine, and watched her leave the room, leaving Rashed and I alone once again.

I picked up the bouquet, positioned it over Rashed's chest, opened the envelope, took out the letter, and began reading the following words,

"Dear Jade,

I'm going to start this letter off with a simple thank you. You've helped me with not only to gain popularity, but also to realize how selfish I was of taking advantage of you like that, it was very childish of me. Seeking popularity is the farthest thing I can find away from maturity.

I truly love you, Jade, with all my heart, ever since we met, I couldn't stop thinking about you.You've been such an inspiration to me, I swear.

 I know my disease put you into a lot of pain, and I'm sorry for that, I really am. I'm also sorry I didn't tell you I was still stuck in the hospital when you thought I was being released.

I didn't want you to worry during your exams.

I may make it seem it is as bad as cancer, right now, and I may have not fought this illness, but if I was still there with you, I would fight any day, for you.

The doctor confessed to me that I didn't have much time to live anymore, which is also why I decided to write to you this farewell letter.

I'm still going to be with you everywhere you go, so don't think you got rid of me that easily.

Please don't be sad, just think of it this way. If I was still there, I would be in more pain, I would be suffering. But right now, I'm in such a relief where I can't even describe how happy I am that I feel no pain anymore.

I want you to move on, make the best out of the life you have. Love, laugh, cry, you only live once, my dear princess.

I know you have the ability to be the best woman out there, I truly believe that, from the bottom of my heart.

I'm sorry again for leaving you, but please, try your hardest to reject the tears, because I know you're much stronger than that, Jade. I don't expect you to forget about me so soon, but I beg of you, never say goodbye to me.

No words can describe how I feel about you, I think that's why my heart stopped beating, I probably spoke about you out loud, stating how much I love you to death.

Well, Jade, I don't have much time to write a lot, in spite of your endless hope for me, I don't know what to say when it comes to these things. The doctor is calling me, but I want to end this letter with tears of joy and not grief.

Remember when I created the second game? Congratulations, you haven't spoken to me for more than three days. Now, please try to do that everyday...

And remember when I told you I'm still counting? Guess what, Jade? It's the 70th day."

70 Days; Chapter 15

So nice to finally see my classmates and friends again, here in London.

Still haven't gone back to my classes yet, since I'm still feeling a bit frail, but I'll be back on track soon.

Rashed is finally leaving the hospital today, since he's all better now, thank God!

Winter break is in two weeks, and the annual checkpoint examinations are in one.

In spite of my high marks, studying too much and worrying is not a problem for me.

I have no intention to brag, although ever since I was little, I used to have a very quick and fast way of learning and consuming all sorts of knowledge.

Once I study something, the idea of it never escapes from my head. But really, I also enjoy doing things ahead of time, in order to give myself more free periods in the future.

And I'm thankful for that, really.

-

I picked up my phone and dialed my classmate's number. He explained to me everything I've missed and I ended the phone call with a, "Thanks a lot! I'll take it from here."

-

Days #60-65

I approached my desk slowly, picked up my 'Financial Economics' book, and began reading through the pages my class studied.

-

After realizing I've missed quite a lot of lessons, I was studying in most of my free time, which is just an easy way to catch up.

I keep on promising myself I would check on Rashed every half an hour, but the books dragged me all the way in their world of letters, words, and information.

I had no other spare time other than the time I was using up to study.

-

By the time it was two days later, I was back to my classes, and was very closely prepared for my exams in a few days.

-

Day #66;

Rashed's perspective;

The blood test.

It wasn't wrong.

My kidney-oh, I mean Jade's, is beginning to fail.

Just like the first time, only worse, quoting the doctor.

After redoing the test, they also realized that my second kidney was beginning to appear inferior.

They looked for donations, but the doctor said if I had a second transplant, I would have to live a very risky life, and be extremely careful.

I don't want to be careful.

I want to live my life.

I want to have fun.

I don't want to be careful.

Jade thinks I'm out of the hospital, back to my normal life.

But, what is normal?

I've been in this death trap for a long time, now.

I bet nothing can defeat this illness, whether it was Jade's kidney, or the healthiest person's on the face of this Earth.

A lesson I've learned through the time I've spent in this plain, white room was to change what you can't accept.

I can't accept this, but nothing is able to twist it to its good side.

Therefore, the walls also taught me that you should also accept what you can't change.

Not everything in life goes your way, I keep repeating to myself.

Yes, I may complain a lot about my illness, but that's only out of question and confusion. I'm confused. I'm confused about me being the chosen one.

Plus, this is exactly how others would've responded to their sickness, too.

My parents were here, in the hospital, ever since, as well as my twin sisters, but have glanced into the room to check on me few times a day, since whenever they did, my mother would break down, doubtful of her very own son's hope. My brother decided not to come along, he would be too sad and disappointed, he would rather wait until I'm back and okay again.

-

"Jade," I wrote to her, since it has been a while since we've spoken.

"Rashed," she typed back, "been such a wreck with all the catching up to do, sorry we didn't talk,"

"Not to worry. How have you been, lately?" I asked, thoughtless, hoping she won't ask me likewise.

"Feeling much better, and you?" she did.

"Not bad," I lied.

"My princess," I wrote, additionally.

"My prince," she responded.

"Do you know why I call you that? 'My princess?'" I questioned, seeking her intelligence, although I'm sure she would guess it wrongly.

"Why?" she asked.

"Truly because you are one, and secondly, because I see your world as a magical kingdom, with your long, light, brown hair, and your strong character playing the gate of your home, protecting enemies from getting through... The white clouds behind your divine castle glow as white as your teeth, and your beautiful, hazel eyes shining stunningly as bright as the nightly fireworks," I wrote, "Jade?"

"Yeah?" she replied.

"As soon as this is all over, I'm coming back, for YOU,"

"I'll be waiting, unsteadily," she said.

"We belong together, I didn't expect this but this game was the best mistake I've ever made," I typed, "are you sure you're human?"

"I think I am, yes, why? Hahaha." she answered.

"Because all I notice is a pure angel," I said.

At that moment, I wanted her take me into her arms. I wish to be her shade, and I wish to hold her soft, moisturized hands once again and watch our life pass through it. How am I supposed to live my life without a heart, while its been in the palm of her hands ever since?

Like I told her before, she stole it.

-

"Up for phase 2, Jade?" I asked, "another game?"

"Bring it on," she responded.

"Are you in love with me?" I asked again, anxiously.

It was indeed a tricky question. Even though I lived across the world away from her, I was still capable of feeling Jade's emotions.

A few moments later, she replied, "Yes,"

"Since the game ends in 4 days, I want you to prove to me you love me. Try not communicate with me, through the phone, through text, or through any possible way until the game is officially over." I said.

"Is that all you got?" she asked with a sneer face at the end, "you've got yourself a deal."

"Great! Oh-and Jade?" I said.

Even after five minutes, she hasn't replied, yet.

"Jade?"

No reply. It was impossible for her to fall asleep at her time of day.

"Are you there?"

From that second, I had a feeling the second game already began.

70 Days; Chapter 14

Rashed's perspective;

Today morning has felt like the longest one of all.

I was awakened by the sound of the knock at the door, then entered the nurse.

She observed my face and described it, "You look so pale, and yellow, did you sleep well?"

"Not really, it still hurts, I'm starting to feel nauseous," I replied.

She left and returned a few minutes later with a needle and a tube.

Great. A blood test, once again...

During it, I turn my head over to the sucking process, I witness a dark shade of blood, it was quite unusual, really...

In spite of having over 8 blood tests in the passed month, I've never seen such a color. From that moment, I knew something was wrong, especially since the opposite side of my old pain also began vibrating in ache and discomfort.

A doctor entered the room. "How does his blood look like?" he asked, as if he knew my blood would look different than how it usually is..

"Much darker," responded the nurse.

I looked at the old man wearing the white doctor coat, and asked, "Doctor, is there something wrong?"

He ignored for a few seconds, but then managed to speak, "Well, by looking at your blood itself, it seems to be something uncommon, but not to worry, we will let you know in a few hours."

Not to worry? Something's going on in my god damn body and all he tells me is 'not to worry?'!?

I've officially turned into a short-tempered freak.

-

Trying to ignore the pain, I picked up the phone from my side-table that I haven't touched in almost 2 weeks.

All were messages from friends and one specific person.

Jade.

Her messages were the only ones that mattered to me.

Though they were all sent before she came to visit, it still grew a smile on my face, since the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about me just made my heart feel warmer.

"Hello there," I wrote to her.

She is still in Australia, probably in the airport, by now.

She replied instantly.

"Rashed!"

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Still a bit weak, and you?"

"You know you didn't have to do that," I said.

"If I could choose between living my life with one kidney or never seeing you ever again, I would risk every part of my body to just have another minute with you..." She knew what I was talking about.

My heart dropped, and butterflies wandered about in my stomach. And just for that second while talking to Jade, I happened to completely ignore the pain, and feeling nothing but joy and bliss.

"But you have a whole life ahead of you; meeting new friends, people, having a great job." I responded.

"I can still do all those things with one kidney! Besides, I can even do them with you, alive, healthy, and right by my side," she answered.

I decided to keep the blood test and the pain I've been feeling to myself.

"You truly are my savior," I wrote to her.

"And you truly are my life," she replied.

"I wish you were here with me," I said, "you're so indescribable, inside and out..."

"Rashed, I don't know what to say..."

"Oh no, you don't have to, my love, just stay there, and let me stare at your beautiful face.."

"Rashed?" she wrote, "Your game... It's off, right?"

"Off in the sense of the fake love, but I'm still counting,"

"Oh, okay... About to enter the plane!"

"Okay, please inform me when you land safely, good bye, my lovely princess,"

"Your princess?" she asked.

"Yes, mine, and only mine,"

"Bye, my prince."

-

I woke up from my regular nap and a few moments after that, a nurse makes an entrance, "I have been asked to take you to the doctor's office," she said, bringing in a wheelchair.

I was soaring on the wheelchair through the hospital, observing all the bald patients with cancer, observing the nurses injecting them, and observing parents crying for the sake of their children, and some of them, the opposite.

I felt the pain in the hallway and in the rooms I passed by.

It was terrifying.

But, it was slightly a good feeling, knowing there are others who are just like me.

"Hello, Mr. Rashed! How are you feeling today? Did the pain, by any chance, reduce?" the doctor asked.

"Not really, the other side is starting to hurt me, as well..."

"Well, according to your test results-"

"What?" I interrupted, asking.

"We will re-do the blood test again tomorrow, but as for now, the results were shown as-"

"Why? What happened?!" I questioned, so afraid.

"The kidney that we just placed in you, is beginning to weaken, and it might end up failing even worse than your old one, the one we took out..."

My ears couldn't bear the news and my eyes couldn't stand the pain the doctor's tone was in.

I hope this is all a dream... I kept repeating inside of me.

I hope this is all a dream...

I hope this is all a dream...

70 Days; Chapter 13

FINALLY have a chance to write this one chapter! Too many inspirations wandering about in my head! Can't wait to start typing.

Previously on 70 Days;

Jade and her mother traveled to Melbourne after Jade threatened her by almost telling confessing to her father that her mother was cheating on him with a man called Khalifa.

Jade was qualified to donate one of her kidneys.

Jade and Rashed met face to face in his plain, white room.

A few hours after their hug, Rashed's operation for the transplant occurred.

-

Day #56

Rashed's perspective;

I was awakened by the sound of the nurse adjusting chairs of the room.

I don't understand how she couldn't wait until I woke up by myself.

I lay my eyes on my nearby clock.

'10:56 AM' was plastered on the screen.

"Oh, good morning, Mr. Rashed," said the nurse after realizing my awakening.

"Good morning," I responded.

I was unable to recall anything after the doctors drugged me.

Seems like I immediately slept after the operation.

Remaining under the sheets, I pulled up the hospital clothes I was wearing and viewed the long stitches on the right side of my abdomen.

Yes, the pain still existed them, however knowing you're going to be cured as a fact outweighs it.

Hopefully, everything will go back to normal and Jade and I will go back to being together, for real, though.

-

Jade's perspective;

My mother and I have just returned from the buffet downstairs.

It feels weird owning just a kidney.

I feel different.

We decided to stay in today, since the doctor told me to rest.

Although out flight's tomorrow morning, I really hope to see Rashed before I leave, hoping he's doing alright.

-

"Hello?" spoke the nurse.

"Hi, it's Jade, I donated my-"

"Ah, yes, hello, my dear, how may I help you?" she interrupted.

"I was just wondering when the visiting hours are today for Rashed," I inquired.

"Oh, sorry, Ma'am, the doctor doesn't prefer anyone visiting Mr. Rashed today, he says he needs rest. You do too, dear,"

I died a little inside.

"I suppose that's true, goodbye," and I put the phone down.

Yes, I was a bit sad, but as long as he's in good hands, there's nothing to be afraid of!

-

Rashed's perspective;

"What are these?" I asked the nurse while she was approaching me with quite a few medications. I could tell they were boxes of tablets.

"Oh, just a few painkillers," she replied.

"A few?"

"This is the last for today," she said.

Thank god, I thought to myself.

They've given me over 20 tablets in the past 24 hours.

An hour after the nurse took a visit to give me my required medicine, I felt a prick coming from beneath the stitches.

I looked at it from under the sheets, once again, and saw it the same as how I saw it today morning as I woke up.

The pain sort of felt like the pain I used to receive in my leg, a long time ago.

But when I felt it once again, I was able to resemble it.

It lasted for about 10 minutes and then just stopped.

Was it agony of love?

Was it because I missed Jade?

No, it can't be.

Love doesn't hurt. If it did, then it isn't love, because the person whom you have affection for would never let anything hurt you.

It's impossible, I wanted to believe.

Moments later, it returned, but this time, with a whole different amount of discomfort.

It lasted for 20 minutes this time.

And basically, it continued that way for the rest of the night.

I hardly slept.

Now, I know, it sure has something to do with the actual ache.

The pills were no help anymore, the wound was pounding, beating, maybe. Every single pound was sharp, sharp like a razor blade, reopening my body, reopening my stitches.

It was pain I've never experienced before.

I winced in agony.

I screamed, it was unbearable, it was already morning.

Nurses rushed confusingly into the room, wondering what was the reason behind the increase of my voice.

I couldn't even speak, all I could do was scream, scream, and scream.

The pain took over me.

"Doctor!" one of them shouted.

He arrived so disoriented.

They tried to calm me down with medication.

It wasn't working.

The pain was still there, haunting me, my every move, it was a shadow you couldn't get rid of.

They made several phone calls to the other doctors in the building, I knew that because my ears were still functioning.

-

Day #57

Jade's perspective;

It was time to leave.

We had a man carry our luggage all the way to the taxi.

My mother was helping me, I felt weak, a type of weakness nobody with two kidneys may experience.

The plan is that my mother and I return safely to London, and from there, she returns home.

I don't know how I'm going to manage all by myself.

The doctor gave me some prescribed treatments, in order to feel as normal as I can, as soon as possible.

We hopped in the taxi and were carried by the vehicle to the airport.

In the meanwhile, I just longed for the day Rashed and I will stand facing each other again, holding his hand, listening to his voice, reciting poem after poem.

70 Days; Chapter 12

Attention: I would like to start this off with the BIGGEST apology ever! It has almost been a month without posting, and oh how much I've missed it! I've been caught up with so much school work that I hardly had time to tweet, either. Hope this long chapter makes up for it! Hope you all enjoy.

-

Day #50;

She stood up from her seat, adjusted her bag strap, and remained quiet.

I picked up my phone from my nearby table, and wrote with the most evilest grin, "Guess what? You're wife is cheating on you!"

After that, I adjusted the way I was holding it, the message wasn't yet sent.

With the devilish smile remained on my face, I spoke with cruelty, reading the unsent message, "Guess what? Your wife is cheating on you! Shall I send?"

My finger was less than a centimeter away from the 'Send' button.

"You wouldn't!" she shouted so furiously.

"Oh, trust me, I would," I responded more devil-like. I have never turned into my opposing side, nor have I ever disrespected my mother.

-

"You know what I've heard? The hospital beside you is able to send donations to different countries," my mother said.

"But I don't want to donate it here," I refused, immediately thinking of a way to convince my mother yet again.

"What now?" she replied, tired of my demands in such short notice.

"I want to go to Australia and donate it there," I ordered.

"What's the difference?" she questioned.

"At least I can see Rashed and see how he's doing. Please," I answered.

"I can't let you miss university, Jade!" she raised her voice, "I have no choice but to allow you to donate, but missing your classes and traveling all the way across the world? I can't permit that."

"Please! I'll take notes of my lectures from my professor and study them by myself, either way, it's all review!" I said with reasoning.

She looked at me with absolute disapproval.

I pulled out my phone and headed to the unsent message once again and showed it to her, with my finger almost sending it, and with a threatening look on my face.

"Oh, fine!!" she spilled.

I smiled, approached my closet, and dragged my black suitcase out.

Although, I feel so terrible about my rude actions, but it never ceases to amaze me how much will-power can take over how badly I want things.

-

Day #52;

"Please fasten your seat belts, we will be arriving in Melbourne, Australia in approximately 21 hours and 40 minutes,"

We adjusted our seats, fastened our seat belts, obeying the pilot's words, and sat back waiting for departure.

I was so exhilarated, deep down, I could just scream.

Hopefully, Rashed will be fine  and everything will go back to normal.

I feel so confident about the operation, thank God.

Since I know this flight would be extremely long, I've decided to take a light snooze.

While altering the first-class chair, I called for the flight attendance and asked for a blanket.

As she returned with one, I watched my mother fall asleep, as well.

I felt extremely sorry dragging her into what I want, threatening her...

I purposely placed the blanket on her, since her clothing wasn't heavy enough to protect her from the cold breeze trapped in the airplane.

Intending to wake up and apologize to her later on, I closed my eyes and set my mind on where we're flying to, Melbourne, where Rashed is.

-

"Jade, wake up, sweetie," my mother spoke, tugging me slowly in order to wake me up for one of the meals.

Turns out my mother had my back and ordered what she thought I liked best, she was right.

Picking up the fork and sitting up straight, simultaneously I spoke, "I'm sorry,"

She looked at me silently.

"I'm sorry for threatening you. I'm sorry for forcing you to do what I wanted," I said, additionally, "I just want Rashed to be healthy again,"

She slowly shed a tear.

I put my hand on her shoulder, attempting to comfort her.

"No, I'm sorry, I should have told you and your father about everything,"

"If you don't love Baba then why are you still with him?" I asked, confused.

"Because I chose to stay. Khalifa began writing me love letters, and I felt lonely. Your father and I truly love each other, and I know he'd be lost without me. My life is complete, I have a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. I can't imagine not having that anymore," she responded.

I hugged her so tightly and felt so grateful yet still so sorrowful at the same time.

-

It's 8 AM here in Melbourne, the sun is shining.

My mother and I are on our way, in a taxi, to the nearest hospital, with our suitcases in the back.

As soon as we reached, I grabbed my luggage and rushed into the hospital so excitedly yet so fearful.

-

"Are you at least 18 years of age?" asked the nurse.

"Yes."

"Do you have diabetes, cancer, or any organ-specific diseases?"

"No."

"Are you free from high blood pressure?"

"Yes."

"Are you healthy in terms of mental and physical health?"

"Yes."

"Okay then, you are qualified, who may you want to donate your kidney to?" she asked with a smile.

"He's a patient here, Rashed Al-*****" I replied, remembering Fawaz's message. He specifically named the hospital he was getting treated in.

"Please, follow me," she said, starting to walk toward a room.

With my mother right by my side, she held my arm and spoke, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm more than sure," I replied.

-

Day #55;

Rashed's perspective;

Due to my trouble breathing, I had to visit the hospital here and stay the night.

I woke up today morning with a smile on my face.

I dreamt Jade came to Australia.

I dreamt I held her hand.

I dreamt I gave her the tightest embrace which indicated how much I missed her, and I never wanted to let her go.

If only it was real.

-

"Come in," I spoke after hearing the door knock.

It was my doctor.

"How are you today, Rashed?"

"I'm fine, not feeling any different, really," I answered.

"We have your results from yesterday's blood test," he said a bit too calmly.

"And..?" I asked, waiting for good news.

"Your other kidney seems to become weaker than before, but don't worry, we've had a nice, young lady donate one of her kidneys to you. So kind of her, she doesn't even ask for anything in return, just your health," he said.

I was shocked by his words.

Thank you, God! Thank you!

"Doctor, may I ask who this lady is?"

He extended his right arm, opened the door, and viewed how my facial expressions changed as I watched her walk in with tears in her eyes. My heart felt as if it was being hit by drumsticks.

"Jade," I said in amazement.

"Rashed," she replied, approaching me closer.

While our eyes met, we heard the doctor reassure me, "Your operation will be in 3 hours, wish you the best of luck!"

I was unable to reply, Jade's beauty was blocking everything I could possibly think, or even speak of.

"It was you..." I said, speaking about the donation.

"Rashed, why didn't you tell me you were sick?" she asked.

"I just found out when you left to university, I didn't want you to be worried, I'm sorry," I responded.

She stared at my pale, dry, unusual, frail face and body, and came even closer to me, dragging the nearby chair along with her.

She held my hand and looked into my black eyes.

"Being sick is not an imperfection,"

Due to my very slow crying reputation, I felt a tear roll down my insipid cheek.

After minutes of silence and hush, she gave me hug.

A sudden feeling of happiness rushed through my veins, blood, and bones. It was something not even the tubes attached to my hands could captivate.

Putting the best of my ability, I dragged my weak arms and hugged her back.

My dream came true.

70 Days; Chapter 11

Day #48;

It's almost been a month ever since Fawaz broke the news to me.

Nothing has ever broken my heart more than the fact that Rashed's on the verge of death.

On the edge of dropping his life.

His life would be crushed.

Crushed into million little pieces.

I haven't spoken to my dear beloved ever since, either.

Not talking to him kills me, though.

I have not.

I could not.

And I will not face him.

And I will not answer his phone calls.

I'm too scared his last words would exit it, would capture the attention of my ear's, and would cause the destruction of my fragile heart.

I don't want to say goodbye.

Why aren't we both called 'Nothing'?

I bet he's thinking the exact same thing, in between the tubes and the needles, he might be wondering why aren't we called 'Nothing', since that seems to be the only thing that lasts forever.

-

It was a typical day at university.

Nothing special occurred in class, nothing new.

I think you could've guess my inability to focus in my classes due to my mind's visit to a world of utter pain and agony.

But I attended them anyway, just incase I decided to pay attention.

As soon as I was done with my classes of the day, I was asked, by my dear friend Charlotte, to go grab a snack to eat.

As much as I didn't want to, I tagged along, I felt I needed to change my lifestyle a bit, nowadays.

-

"Jade, what do you want to eat?" she asked.

Coldly, I replied, "Just a chicken sandwich,"

I grabbed us a seat, and waited for Charlotte's return.

As we ate, I think she noticed my slow consumption.

"What's the matter?" she questioned, worriedly.

"Nothing," I answered.

"Come on, Jade, you know you can't keep something from me, you suck at lying!" she said.

"Just not feeling myself lately," I replied.

"That isn't a good enough reason," she said once again, "Spill."

And I, with a sad heart, confessed.

Yes, it takes a while to gain someone's trust, but she has opened up to me quite a few times before, and I think I've known her long enough.

Plus, to whom am I afraid she would tell?

-

After my little outing, I felt grateful.

I felt grateful at least was there someone here with me whom I can shed my heart out to.

I picked up my phone and dialed.

I dialed the phone number of my divine mother's.

And within seconds, I could hear myself pour out how badly I needed to see her.

How badly I needed to feel the embrace she gave me before I left.

I admit, my mother is greatly missed.

I clarified my reason to why she must visit.

-

Day #50;

I heard a quick knock at the door.

My mother, yes, it was my mother.

I was expecting her.

"How are you?" she asked after we were both released from the tight hug, indicating how much we've missed each other.

"Not completely well, but-"

"Jade, you're my daughter, and I thank God every day that you are mine," she interrupted, releasing the most random words.

It took me quite a while to ponder my further, next words.

It was a hard, yet helpful decision to make and to make official.

"I've been thinking..." I began speaking.

She was all ears, ready for my following words.

"This isn't very easy to speak upon,"

"Jade, just say it," she ordered, interrupting, once again.

"I want to donate one of my kidneys to Rashed."

"What?!?!" she said, shocked and startled.

"I want to help him out a bit, you know..." I replied.

"Jade, you're crazy! You're young, you're only 18!" she shouted.

"But I love him!" I responded, raising my voice.

"It doesn't matter if you love him!"

"But why?!" I asked, angrily.

"Because you've got a whole life ahead of you! How could you make such an insane decision?!" she began screaming.

I teared, teared at the rejection of what my heart truly wanted.

"You're making such a big deal about this, Jade!"

Was I? Was I, really?

I teared quite a bit more.

"There is no way I am letting you donate your kidney,"

I then spoke, as frustration took over me, "Well, if you don't allow me, I'm going to tell Baba that I found love letters written by you that were meant for some man named Khalifa!"

Her eyes grew larger by the second.

Ashamed, yet furious, she spoke, "How do you know about them?!"

"A few months ago, I found them placed in one of the drawers of your bedside table," I answered.

"Why would you look through my stuff, Jade?" she questioned.

"Well excuse me for wanting to remind myself of my youth. I was looking for the photographs!" angrily, I said.

She stood up from her seat, adjusted her bag strap, and remained quiet.