Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Farewell Post

Hey!

I'm so sorry to everyone who continuously begged for me to stay, but I just can't afford to let you guys down by making promises I'm sure I can't deliver.

Posting is very stressful, I can't deny that, but yes, it has opened the path to the expansion of my ideas.

Although, sometimes your ideas don't return back to you in time, which sucks, since I am the type of girl that needs loads of inspirations.

I'm going to leave this website on, just incase some haven't finished a certain story. I would still feel extremely glad to look at your feedback, though! Only my Ask.fm and Twitter accounts will be deactivated.

You guys can always contact me through thebhrwriter@gmail.com , I get notified through that.

Once I see the number of my page views aren't increasing, I will eventually close it entirely, but save it on my laptop somehow since these stories were incredible and one of my finest works!

I appreciate ever little thing all of my supporters have done for me, from reading my blog, to never leaving me.

You guys are so efjbdkhfkjbdf, yeah, you see that? That's speechless typing. You guys are amazing, and i couldn't have thank you enough.

To those who have been wanting me to reveal myself to them, I'm sorry I never met your expectations but maybe one day, nothing's impossible!

And to those whom I have revealed to, than you for keeping it a secret for so long, I really appreciate it.

Well.. This is it, blogging really opened my eyes, honestly, it showed me that you can be whatever and whom ever you want through a simple post, a simple page, a simple paragraph located in the Internet. It also made me realize how there are MANY true characters out there.

I haven't read all the blogs in the Arab community but I hope one day I will, they are all saved in my bookmarks, you never know when I'm going to be commenting anonymously sending feedback!

It has been a crazy journey, with some ups and downs, of course, but in this wild ride, the great times outweighs every single disadvantage.

I know I'm thanking too much, but yeah, THANK YOU, to everyone, and I really mean it from the bottom of my heart.

To all the silent readers who enjoy writing, never give up, start a blog like I did, take risks, You Only Live Once! (Just started to sing that part, lol)


I hope you were satisfied with my stories, and I'm sorry I let other people down, I'm human after all, I have those bad days, but to be truly honest with y'all, I have always put 1000000000% effort, attention, devotion, and potential into every single post I write (except for AULS, it was a crappy intro to my stories), I've worked super hard to please all of my readers.

I definitely will miss this more than anything, so I might peek into this again sometime, using the same name of course, not only because I'm known for the TheBHR girl, but because I can't think of any other unique name since almost all the girls and guys have now entered the blogging world and took all the really cool names.

I will start a book, inshAllah, when I've enhanced in my writing skills, and hopefully, until then....

Good bye! I love you all, walla so much, thanks again! (For the 2365485803856430'th time ;p)

Love At No Sight

Last story post.

Thank you for bringing me this far, considering I wrote two stories, and two short ones.

-

6 years earlier;

The one and only I used to and still do, consider a man filled with such integrity and bravery would be my divine father.

The man who was fearless.

He was courageous.

Independent.

Indomitable.

And all the other remaining traits of a Hero.

Ever since I was little, we used to stare at the sun, admiring its astonishing glow and light, wondering how can God ever create such a beautiful part of nature.

We were both the outdoors type.

I used to watch him from inside the house staring at the source of light, outside, whenever he felt down or angry. The sun would somehow calm him down, and cheer him up at the same time.

Whenever a tragic event occurs, he would just stop and look up.

One day, the man I loved with all of my heart, left me. He left me to the nearest heaven. Cancer won him.

-

Our hobby was the same one.

I used to gaze at the sun every single day for the following months.

My mother used to warn me that it isn't very healthy. It was the only time she ever warned me about anything.

But I didn't care, the sun was the symbol of our relationship and bond.

It was the only connection I had with him, although, I strongly believed he was looking down on me. I did it whenever I missed him, which was every second of every day.

-

One day, when I stared at the sun for approximately 2 minutes on my way home, I saw nothing but darkness after that.

I was confused considering it was only afternoon.

I felt my head hit again the hard brick pavement.

And then heard a gasp and fast footsteps approaching me.

It was a girl. I was able to make that indication from her voice when she tried to call out for help.

-

I was in the hospital, she told me as I woke up.

It was still dark. And my eyes pounded in pain.

I questioned her, asked her who she was, and why am I here.

"You were staring at the sun and a moment later, you fell against the pavement," she said, so softly.

"And how did you know I was staring at the sun?" I asked.

"Because I was watching you.." she replied.

"Oh, that doesn't sound creepy at all." I said.

I attempted to smile, everything was still pitch-black.

She giggled, "No, I was at the flower shop and I was confused about your stability,"

The doctor came in, at least that's what he referred himself to, and I could hear him bring a chair beside the soft mattress I was sitting on, it was a bed, I think.

"Your mother is dealing with something else right now, but she was here,"

Hah, sure, I bet she even cared, I thought.

I mumbled.

He said, "How do your eyes feel?"

"They hurt, do you mind opening the lights?" I responded.

It was silent.

Seconds later he said, "I'm sorry but they are on, what do you see?"

"Nothing..."

-

Present time;

Its been 6 years since the incident.

6 terrible years.

She's the only one helping me get through it all.

My mother left.

She betrayed me.

I don't know if it was because I can't see anymore, that she can no longer cope with all the pressure. Not sure.

My dear aunt, the sister of my loving father, has played the role of a mother to me.

My real mother felt like my second.

She is devoting her whole life to me, and I don't know how to repay her.

She is a divorced woman with no children.

-

But the only girl who was pushed me to captivate my hope is the same one who took hours and days out of her own life to help me get into the hospital.

Her cheeks and hair is so soft.

The palm of her hands glide against my face, I feel it cold, I feel it shivering.

"You're cold..." I said.

She quickly moved her palm.

"No, not really..." she lied.

"Haya, I may not be able to see you but I can still feel, you know," I told her.

She giggled.

"I love the way you laugh, you're adorable," I spoke.

We were both 19, at the moment, so I figured we were mature enough.

She didn't say a word.

I adjusted the sunglasses I was wearing and spoke again, "Haya?"

"Yeah?" she said softly, her voice was like the sweet sound of everything nice.

"I love you,"

I did, I really did, and I know she did as well.

She had an afternoon class a few moments after that, so she had to leave. I heard the sound of her footsteps fading.

She was a very shy girl, as far as I could tell. And that's one of the things I loved most about her.

-

The hospital hired a nurse to take care of me while my aunt was doing some work.

She could drive, cook, she was like a personal butler.

Just kidding.

She has been with me ever since two weeks after the hospital.

She knows Haya, and how I feel about her.

After taking my pills to kill my eye pain, I expressed how badly I wanted to thank Haya personally through something special.

I know how everything is like, I was 13, old enough to remember most of my life and how people looked like.

I didn't need all the treatment that a 19 year old guy receives if he was born this way.

She told me she would take me somewhere where they made highly professional sound tracks or videos, following my request.

I know I may not be the guy that showers his love with jewelry and all these types of gifts.

Yes, I may not be that way, since I don't want to make a mistake, I can't tell what sort of 'jewelry' I'm purchasing.

To me, it isn't the brand of gift, or the type, but it is the quality of the present, and as long as the person you love appreciates you giving it to her with all the admiration and care, that's what really matters.

Today was the day I met her 6 years ago.

I knew because she told me as I sensed the feelings inside of me begin to develop.

The nurse and I entered the requested shop with a really great feeling about this gift.

-
Before giving her the gift, she ushered me outside, since I told her I wanted to stare at the sun.

She came along with me and stared, and I think she began to understand the bond after all the stories I've told her, she enjoys it as much as I do.

I didn't care if I couldn't see it, but just the thought of it made be feel the connection I had with my father all over again.

-

While we were listening to my audio track, she was sitting in front of me with my hand wrapped in front of her.

I felt drops of water falling on my hand.

Haya teared.

I tried to wipe them as I told her to face me.

"Why are you tearing?" I asked, worried.

She teared more as my fingers that tried to wipe the tears away all of a sudden appeared more wet.

"I just don't know what to say, I don't know what to do," she blurted out.

"I mean, I don't know what to give you, since you won't be able to see it," she added.

She began breathing loudly.

"Hey.." I said softly, "All I needed from you is your love, and you gave me that, nothing else. I love you, Haya, please don't cry..."

I felt my eyes tearing up, I decided to keep the sunglasses on so she wouldn't have to see the water appearing.

She placed her head on my chest, tearing less.

"Haya," I sat properly, held her shoulder, making sure she was facing me, "I understand how you feel, loving someone who can't see how beautiful you are, I know...-"

"What? You think I'm crying because you have no sense of sight? That isn't the reason!" she interrupted, "I'm crying because I don't know how to be romantic like you," she began crying, "because I don't know how to- how to- how to-"

She sobbed quietly.

I told her to come closer, and she did.

I spoke, "Look, I may blind but I can still feel your soft cheeks. I may be blind but your laugh makes me the happiest person alive. I may be blind but I can still hug you. I may be blind but I can still see right through your beauty. And I may be blind but I can still love you."