I Just Wish...

It may be a bit too depressing for some, and for others it may be alright. The picture I drew was sketched off the internet, NOT traced. It is at the bottom of the page. Hope you enjoy, and please give me some feedback in return, I'd really really appreciate it! :)

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My tears say it all.

I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm hopeless. 

The scars on my arm are painful, which give me no more reason to live much longer. 

My father had a tough day at work. 

I just sat there, my 14 year-old self, on our beige couch. 

As he approaches me with his powerful palm holding tightly his thick black Armani belt. 

My back, numb. 

My thighs, numb. 

My arms, numb. 

Sooner or later, our couch turned into a light shade of red, since that chair was the oldest we owned, it played the role of a grave. A grave where the human body lays, where the non functioning muscles stay, where the endless blood pours from your opened scars, I say. 

My back is the ugliest. 

My arms are the least. 

My natural dark-to-light  brown hair was my best and most attractive feature. 

My father loved it.

I inherited it from my divine mother, may God rest her soul. 

Sometimes I hate being beautiful.

Sometimes I just wish I was hideous. 

For beauty is the aspect that triggers the abuse, some began from the admiration of my hair, and some began from work stress. 

My father beats me. 

Every morning.

Every night.

I want to tell somebody older than me. 

I wish I could. 

But my father forbids me to leave the basement. 

To have any physical or verbal contact with anyone behind my door. 

I don't have a cellphone. 

The landline doesn't exist in my room. 

All I've got are pencils and papers. 

Writing is all I've got. 

No education. 

No social life. 

No happiness. 

No joy. 

No sleep. 

I just wish he would kill me and take my life away instead of letting me live in torture. 

I just wish he would end it all with a pull of a trigger. 

Or a hard poke of a knife, going straight through my innocent heart. 

I just wish my mother were still here with me. 

I just wish it would all be over. 

I just wish I could watch TV or ride a bike. 

I just wish I could swim in the ocean with the beautiful fish. 

I just wish I was an ordinary teenager. 

I just wish my wishes won't be too hard to grant.

I just wish...