70 Days; Chapter 11

Day #48;

It's almost been a month ever since Fawaz broke the news to me.

Nothing has ever broken my heart more than the fact that Rashed's on the verge of death.

On the edge of dropping his life.

His life would be crushed.

Crushed into million little pieces.

I haven't spoken to my dear beloved ever since, either.

Not talking to him kills me, though.

I have not.

I could not.

And I will not face him.

And I will not answer his phone calls.

I'm too scared his last words would exit it, would capture the attention of my ear's, and would cause the destruction of my fragile heart.

I don't want to say goodbye.

Why aren't we both called 'Nothing'?

I bet he's thinking the exact same thing, in between the tubes and the needles, he might be wondering why aren't we called 'Nothing', since that seems to be the only thing that lasts forever.

-

It was a typical day at university.

Nothing special occurred in class, nothing new.

I think you could've guess my inability to focus in my classes due to my mind's visit to a world of utter pain and agony.

But I attended them anyway, just incase I decided to pay attention.

As soon as I was done with my classes of the day, I was asked, by my dear friend Charlotte, to go grab a snack to eat.

As much as I didn't want to, I tagged along, I felt I needed to change my lifestyle a bit, nowadays.

-

"Jade, what do you want to eat?" she asked.

Coldly, I replied, "Just a chicken sandwich,"

I grabbed us a seat, and waited for Charlotte's return.

As we ate, I think she noticed my slow consumption.

"What's the matter?" she questioned, worriedly.

"Nothing," I answered.

"Come on, Jade, you know you can't keep something from me, you suck at lying!" she said.

"Just not feeling myself lately," I replied.

"That isn't a good enough reason," she said once again, "Spill."

And I, with a sad heart, confessed.

Yes, it takes a while to gain someone's trust, but she has opened up to me quite a few times before, and I think I've known her long enough.

Plus, to whom am I afraid she would tell?

-

After my little outing, I felt grateful.

I felt grateful at least was there someone here with me whom I can shed my heart out to.

I picked up my phone and dialed.

I dialed the phone number of my divine mother's.

And within seconds, I could hear myself pour out how badly I needed to see her.

How badly I needed to feel the embrace she gave me before I left.

I admit, my mother is greatly missed.

I clarified my reason to why she must visit.

-

Day #50;

I heard a quick knock at the door.

My mother, yes, it was my mother.

I was expecting her.

"How are you?" she asked after we were both released from the tight hug, indicating how much we've missed each other.

"Not completely well, but-"

"Jade, you're my daughter, and I thank God every day that you are mine," she interrupted, releasing the most random words.

It took me quite a while to ponder my further, next words.

It was a hard, yet helpful decision to make and to make official.

"I've been thinking..." I began speaking.

She was all ears, ready for my following words.

"This isn't very easy to speak upon,"

"Jade, just say it," she ordered, interrupting, once again.

"I want to donate one of my kidneys to Rashed."

"What?!?!" she said, shocked and startled.

"I want to help him out a bit, you know..." I replied.

"Jade, you're crazy! You're young, you're only 18!" she shouted.

"But I love him!" I responded, raising my voice.

"It doesn't matter if you love him!"

"But why?!" I asked, angrily.

"Because you've got a whole life ahead of you! How could you make such an insane decision?!" she began screaming.

I teared, teared at the rejection of what my heart truly wanted.

"You're making such a big deal about this, Jade!"

Was I? Was I, really?

I teared quite a bit more.

"There is no way I am letting you donate your kidney,"

I then spoke, as frustration took over me, "Well, if you don't allow me, I'm going to tell Baba that I found love letters written by you that were meant for some man named Khalifa!"

Her eyes grew larger by the second.

Ashamed, yet furious, she spoke, "How do you know about them?!"

"A few months ago, I found them placed in one of the drawers of your bedside table," I answered.

"Why would you look through my stuff, Jade?" she questioned.

"Well excuse me for wanting to remind myself of my youth. I was looking for the photographs!" angrily, I said.

She stood up from her seat, adjusted her bag strap, and remained quiet.